Allyship Workshop

Last year the Live Work Well Centre’s Sexual and Diversity Cluster held a workshop on consensual allyship where participants learned different perspectives and practices of allyship. Thomas Sasso, who co-founded the Sexual and Gender Diversity research lab, held everyone’s attention with a mix of sincerity and humour. Sasso addressed the assembled participants with ease by drawing on personal anecdotes and academic research. 

Sasso asked participants to define what allyship meant to them. The workshop began with three smudged words on a whiteboard; support, friendship and recognition. These terms were identified by participants as important to performing allyship duties in their own lives. Examples included creating safe spaces, lending support and standing up for others even when they weren’t around. Sasso explained that the skills and knowledge which we used to craft allyship are derived from queer and Indigenous people, built in communities not classrooms, and fine tuned by academics. 

“Previous to this workshop I had only a vague understanding of what it meant to be an ally. Over the course of the workshop I came to understand that allyship is a much more complex process than it appears to be at first glance. Not everyone has the same needs or experiences and what might work for one person might not work for another”. Hazel Acosta, a third year sociology major, discussed how the workshop allowed her “to really understand that allyship isn’t about us but about effectively helping those who need it.” This is important when you consider how to best act as an ally.

Sashmita Rijal, a second year psychology student, was especially affected when Sasso defined problematic allyship and consensual allyship. “That really struck me, that you could be doing more harm than good. I had no idea there was more than one way to be an ally, or that I could be doing it wrong,” Rijal explained after the workshop. 

To elaborate, problematic allyship is when someone endeavours to act as an ally but then retracts that support when it is most meaningful. For example, if someone offers support and understanding about a sexual identity but then condemns openly expressing that sexuality. This form of allyship has the potential to be especially hurtful because it entails a loss of trust by someone initially identified as supportive.

In contrast, consensual allyship is a form of allyship where we let the person we are supporting take the lead. Consensual allyship can take on three different forms; standing in front, standing beside or standing behind. Standing out in front of someone entails acting as a shield and essentially protecting them from harm. Whereas, standing beside or behind someone means lending support but allowing that individual to take the lead. 

Consensual allyship encourages the ally to take a step back and cater to the needs of the other individual. Sasso recommends a three second check in. A simple “how can I support?” can allow the person you are supporting to express which route they are most comfortable with. This is how you become an effective ally.  Ultimately, being an ally is like any other skill, proficiency comes after continuous training and use.